In my veins
by remusandsnapelover
Summary: Nothing goes as planned. Starting off in Breaking Dawn, there is a twist to the whole story. Bella finds out she's pregnant, and Edward isn't too into that. But Carlisle is there for her, in more ways than Bella knows. And he will always be there.
1. Everything will change

A/N **This is during Breaking Dawn, but has an unusual twist to it. I tried to show how what Carlisle would feel if he felt something more for Bella. I'm reading Breaking Dawn over again, and got this idea.**

_Nothing goes as planned  
Everything will break  
People say goodbye_

**Carlisle's POV**

"May I have this dance, Mrs. Cullen?" I held out my hand to Bella, who was blushing bright red. "Carlisle, that sounds like Esme. Can't I just stay Ms. Swan?" She took my hand, and we began a slow, but intricate dance around the rest of the guests at her wedding. Her wedding to my son, Edward.

If my cheeks could burn with jealousy they would; it was hard when you knew you loved a girl you could never have because she loved your son. I _was_ happy for them, there was no doubt about that. But Bella made me different, emerged a feeling I hadn't had in me since the 1600's.

"Carlisle?" Bella's soft voice questioned me. I pulled away from my thoughts to answer her question. "I think Mrs. Cullen is perfect for you." Her blush returned and I couldn't help but smile. _If only you knew, Bella._

Edward walked up to us, holding out his hand for his wife. _Wife_, the word was like a curse inside my head. "Bella, it's almost time to go. We don't want to miss the plane- Alice would have my head." Bella smiled a little timidly, and took his hand. Edward looked at me straight in the eyes, and I wished then that I didn't have a mind reader for a son. "Thank you, Carlisle. I'll take Bella from here." I had never heard Edward sound so vicious towards me, but I could only guess that he had heard my thoughts about Bella.

He lead her towards the bathroom and gestured to the woman's side in what looked like an attempt to try and get her to use the bathroom. When he had turned around to talk to Alice, I took my chance and headed unnoticed into the bathroom where she was standing in front of the sink.

She jumped when she saw me in the mirror. "Carlisle? What are you doing in here?" I felt guilty then; she must think I'm a pervert. "I'm sorry, Bella. But I knew that Edward would listen in to what I said if I talked to you out there." She looked at me hesitantly, "What did you want to tell me?"

"I wanted you to know that you can call me. Whenever. If you ever need me, just pick up the phone and I'll be there." I could hear her heartbeat get unsteady as she stood in place, "Thank you. I will, of course." She smiled at me and walked forward towards the exit. A small puddle on the floor made her slip, and I quickly caught her before she fell straight on her face. I whirled her up to face me; her already red face even redder. "I'm sorry, Carlisle, I'm really clumsy." I could feel her skin under the purple satin Alice had picked out for her as her going away dress. My fingers lingered on her waist as I made sure she was steady. "Have fun, Bella." I let go of her sadly as she smiled slightly and walked out to join Edward.

I watched as he took her hand in his, and lead her into the car headed towards the airport.

I didn't stay to watch her leave.

**Bella's POV**

The trip was tiresome, a bunch of transfers packed into one day. Edward was quiet most of the time, and I was glad for that- all I could think about was Carlisle and what he had said in the bathroom. His face had been dire, as if he had wanted to say more to me.

It made me feel good to know that he would be there for me, as any father-in-law should be. But there was also that unknown part in me that loved the way he grabbed me when I fell. As if I meant everything to him, and if I hurt myself he would die to save my life. It was wrong to think about Carlisle in any way besides a father or a friend, but I couldn't help the feelings that were stirring inside me.

Edward broke the silence at last as he pointed a small island out to me. "Look, Bella. That's Isle Esme." It was like nothing I had seen before. Beautiful and magnificent. I felt a twinge of jealousy when Edward said it had been a gift from Carlisle to Esme.

The nights went by, and you could say they were crazy and wild just like any other normal honeymoon. Until that day. The day when I was sick to my stomach, and all hell froze over.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" I could hear Alice's voice was filled with worry on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah. Um. Is Carlisle there?"

"He is." She called Carlisle's name away from the phone.

There was a silence. "Here's Carlisle."

"Bella, it's Carlisle. What's going on?"

"I think... well, I think that... maybe... I might be..." I took a deep breath. "Pregnant."

Edward's voice was filled with strain when he got off the phone with Carlisle.

"Bella, we're going home."


	2. Edward left

**Carlisle's POV**

"What were you thinking, Edward. Do you know what this means?" My voice was full of stress and above all, anger. Edward stared up at me with hateful eyes. "You know I had no intention to make her... pregnant. It's not what I wanted. I don't want the child."

My eyes widened a little in surprise, and then turned black in an instant. "Edward, it's your child. You need to support Bella. She's in there all alone, and all she wants is her husband to take care of her." If he didn't want to be there, then I sure would be. Edward's face turned twisted as he looked at me with his dark eyes, "I can't take care of her. I can't do this." He got up swiftly, heading for the door. My hand grasped his arm quickly before he could get his fingers around the doorknob. "Son."

"Don't do this to me, Carlisle. Let me go." His voice was quiet, but for once mine was filled with rage. It was something that rarely reared it's head. "Edward, you're bound to her whether you like it or not. And you're that child's father. Be the man that I know you are and stay here with her." He pushed me away with all of his strength, finally prying my fingers away from his ice cold skin and opened the door wide open. "I don't want it. Anyways, Carlisle," His smiled was wicked, not one I was accustomed to, "I've heard your thoughts about her; I know how you feel about her. You'll be a great father. Who would have thought that my own dad would want my girlfriend." He turned away from me and headed down the stairs towards his shiny Volvo.

I had frozen in place for a split second in surprise, but regained my strength, knowing this might be my last chance to bring him back. "She won't live on without you. She'll jump off a cliff again, she'll die because of you." Edward's hand grasped the drivers side of the door so hard, I could hear the sound of a crack as he dug his nails into it. "Good. And then their a problem anymore."

"_I never thought I would see the day when my son, Edward, would drive away from Bella. As much as I wish it was a dream, it wasn't. It was so far from it."_

"Bella, are you sure I can't get you anything?" It had been a few days after the abortion, and Bella was... not alright. That was the easiest way of putting it. I had never seen her this dead, and it broke me inside to know that I couldn't do anything about it. Edward was gone; Alice had no clue where he went. The rest of the family had gone off to find him, leaving me here with Bella. But I might as well have been alone. She hadn't talked since he left, and she clutched her ring in her hand tightly like it was all she had left of Edward.

Like usual, she just shook her head and continued to stare off into space. I placed a thick blanket over her, to keep her safe from the chills, and headed for the door. "Carlisle." It was the first word she had uttered in weeks, and it filled me with a warmth, even though I could hear the brokenness in her voice.

I was right by her side in a minute, kneeling besides her. "Yes, sweetheart?" Her eyes were far away, like she was staring at something in the distance. "Don't leave me. Please. Come up here with me." I looked hesitantly at her before crawling into bed next to her. "Bella, you'll get too cold."

"I don't care."

I placed my hand on her cheek and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "There has to be something else I can do for you." Her eyes broke away briefly to look into mine before they disappeared again into space. "I just want you here." She curled up next to me and rested her face against my chest. I breathed in deeply, fighting off the vampire urge to lean down and bite her. I was stronger than that. I scooped her legs up and put them over my waist, moving my hand up to her hair to try and soothe her. Silent sobs broke out from her, and I could feel my heart brake with hers. "Bella, Bella, sweetheart. It'll be OK, love. I'm right here. I'll always be right here." Her arms wrapped tightly around me as I rocked her lightly in my arms.

"Carlisle?" Her voice was breaking, "How do you feel about me? Tell me the truth." I looked down at her, where her tears were falling off her chin. "I love you. With all my heart." She looked up at my eyes and smiled a beautiful, teary eyes smile. "You've always had such beautiful golden eyes. Did you ever realize that?" I kissed her cheek and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "No, I've never noticed it. But I've noticed your eyes." She smiled at me again.

"Carlisle, I have a request. Something you can do for me." I looked into her brown eyes, "And that would be?" She moved her hand down to my button up shirt, and looked straight at me. "Oh. Bella...," "Please, Carlisle? Please, it's all I ask." I took her hand in mine and stared into her pleading eyes. My heart melted in an instant. "Anything you ask." I turned over onto her with the most delicate measures. Her breathing was heavy as I kissed her. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked as I slid my shirt off and onto the floor. "More than anything."

Her eyes were happy for that moment, and that was all I needed. Anything to make her happy, anything to keep her sane. Her happiness is what makes my life worth living. If Edward couldn't be there for her anymore, than I certainly would be.

"I have one request though." I stopped her hand from moving to my neck. She looked at me confusingly. I sighed and propped her up right. "If we're going to do this, than I'm going to need to do some explaining to... the rest of the family. Me and Esme have never been more than just close friends. It's about time that I let her find someone worth spending the rest of her life with." I could hear Bella gulp nervously and I smiled at her softly. "So now that I'm free, I have a request for _you_."

"And that is?" She asked nervously. "Isabella Swan, will you marry me?" Her smile was pure and she looked like she was about to cry, "Yes. Yes, Carlisle, I will." I chuckled as I took her in my arms. I spun her around quickly and kissed her, "I believe we have a wedding to plan then, Mrs. Cullen." She looked away slightly, out the window. I took her chin in my hand, "And this time, it'll be for forever." She smiled and pulled me down on the bed. "Forever and ever, Dr. Cullen."

I laughed as she took my mouth in hers.

_Everything is dark.  
It's more than you can take.  
But you catch a glimpse of sun light.  
Shinin, down on your face. _


	3. I left

**A/N I know, I haven't updated in a long time. Actually, I forgot about this story until GrayKay87 reminded me to update it. Thank you!:) I know people were saying it was going to fast paced, so I kind of got writers shyness, (that's not even a real things, haha) and stopped updating this story. But since people seem to sort of like it, I'll try to keep up with it. But I need some suggestions... this reminds me of Vampire Academy, and I don't want to totally copy the idea.  
**

**Bella's POV**

Yes, I was engaged to Carlisle. Yes, I loved him. But there was still that part of me that felt a pang of guilt that I was betraying Edward. There also still was that hole in my chest that just wouldn't go away. And that's why I decided to leave- leave Carlisle when he was out hunting. Why I did it, I'm not completely sure; maybe it was because I felt like I wasn't good enough for him, or maybe it was just that I still loved Edward. But whatever the reason may be, I had left him. I don't know if I could face him- not after leaving him like that. Not after I had run away from the man I loved, the man who also loved me more than I deserved.

* * *

I twirled the ring on my finger almost aimlessly as I sat on the long flight to Alaska. I didn't know exactly where I was going; all I knew was that there was a chance that Edward might be with Tanya and her family. I also knew that Carlisle would choose here first to find where I was. I kind of wanted him to find me so that he could tell me I was a horrible fiance and that I don't deserve him.

When the plane landed, and I had found a taxi, I stopped to actually breathe. The whole trip I had been worrying, and hadn't taken the time to actually think about where I was going. In fact, where was I going? I had no idea where Tanya might live, let alone where _any _vampire would be.

The taxi driver sat in his seat impatient while I tried to think of where to go. "How about you take me to Downtown Anchorage?"

"Sure thing." He gave me a fake smile and turned out of the airport. I sighed and looked out the window. _"Edward,"_ my mind willed to say his name, _"I know you're out there."_

**Carlisle's POV**

"Bella?" I couldn't smell her anywhere, and it was starting to worry me. Where could she have gone? I had told her I would be back from hunting soon, and that she should wait up for me. But she was no where to be found.

The phone rang- it was Alice. "Alice." My voice almost broke.

"She's in Anchorage, Alaska." Alice's voice was soft and filled with worry.

I put my fingers to my temple and sighed. "Thank you." I hung up the phone and quickly headed out the door to my car. Whatever the reason would be for Bella being in Alaska, I would find her. I would take her back home; that is if she wanted me to take her back home. I breathed deeply; what if she didn't want me anymore? What if I wasn't good enough for her and she wanted Edward back? _"Edward doesn't want her."_ I reminded myself.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't still want Edward.

**Bella's POV**

I had finally settled on a cheap hotel in downtown Anchorage. I had paid with cash that Edward had given me a while back for emergencies only. This wasn't really an emergency, but he wouldn't want me sleeping in the streets. Or would he? My heart sank at the thought that he wouldn't care about what happened to me. But Carlisle would. _Carlisle._ A part of me begged for me to just go back home and apologize to him, when another part of me urged myself that finding Edward was the right thing to do. And I would find Edward- even if it took me forever to do so.

I flunked down onto the bed full of a bunch of pillows and ugly, flowery bed covers. I didn't know where exactly to start from, so my best bet was to start looking around town. There was no doubt that vampires would be around town at night to snag a few civilians. There was also no doubt in my mind that at least one of them would know of Edward, the golden eyed, vegetarian vampire.

So that was my plan- to find a vampire who knew of Edward and wouldn't eat me before I got away to find my ex-husband. Yeah, the plan was full proof.

It was this plan that had me wind up in a loud bar. I had sneaked in, and since I wasn't asking for alcohol, no one questioned me. I hadn't seen any red eyes sneaking around the area, waiting to pull a drunk person from the scene. I was almost getting impatient, (surprise, surprise!) when I finally caught a glimpse of a flashing pair of crimson colored eyes staring at me.

When I smiled at the man dressed casually in a button up shirt, he smiled back and headed towards me. I froze when he was right in front of me- he looked so innocent but I knew he was more deadly than anything else you would ever come across.

"Hello, miss."

"Hi." I squeaked.

He smiled and sat down next to me. I couldn't help but stare at his red eyes glimmering in the light. "You know, people are going to notice you drink blood when they look into your eyes. It might not go over so well with them when they find out." His smile faded and was replaced with a frown. "How do you-?"

"I've had a lot of... experiences with vampires. That's why I set out to find you." His eyebrow rose a few inches in surprise, "Me?" Well I wasn't looking for him in specific, but I could spare the details. "Yes, you. I was hoping you would tell me where another vampire is. His name is Edward." I saw another shocked look in his eyes before they glinted with hunger. "What would I get in return if I told you?" I hesitated before answering, "Whatever you want."

Maybe it was a mistake telling him this, but I was determined to find Edward. "How about you come back to my place for the night?" He grinned mischievously and took my hand in his. It was colder than most vampires like Edward or Carlisle's. It almost scared me in a way.

I looked up into his eyes before answering, "Only if you promise to tell me where Edward is afterwords."

"I'll keep my promise, miss."

I let him guide me out of the bar and into an apartment complex across the street. "I hope you like it." He smiled wickedly, turning the doorknob that led into his room. It almost made me gag at his pervertedness, but I was desperate for any information. "Come here." He grabbed my hand forcefully and reached behind me to grab my ass. I replied in protest, but he took that as a sign that I liked it and kissed me hard. "Please, don't." I begged, but he kept going, pulling me down onto the couch. "You want your information, don't you?" _"Yes."_ So I shut up and let him strip my clothes off.

I tried to let my mind fog over while he heaved inside of me, grunting and groaning loudly. _"Please, just make this quick."_ And it was. He had come even before me, but I wasn't turned on at all, so I wasn't going to come anyways.

"You owe me something now." I whispered as he began to pull on his jeans. He smirked, "I suppose I do. _Edward_, is hiding out with the other outcast vampires not too far out from here. But if you are who I think you are, he doesn't want to see you."

"Well I don't give a crap if he doesn't want to see me." I snapped, reaching over to pull on my clothes.

"Wow, the little girl has a dirty mouth. Let me clean that for you." He reached over to kiss me again, but I pulled away.

"Oh no you don't." He whispered, swiftly pushing me back against the couch. _"Carlisle."_ I thought as I let myself fall under the inescapable grip of this sex-hungry vampire. _"Carlisle, please. Please, forgive me."_

It wasn't too long before I blacked out.

_Oh, you're all I taste, at night inside of my mouth  
Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found  
Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out_


	4. Lights will guide you home

**A/N I'm sorry that I haven't gotten a chapter up in a while. Thanks for the reminders! (I honestly need those. If I don't update a chapter for a while, feel free to pm me.) The chapter is really short, but I kind of changed patterns... I didn't want to see Edward. I don't know exactly what I want to do next, but now that I just said that, I think I might have an idea in my head. Ooo, it might even involve Edward coming back. So again, sorry for the super late chapter, and hopefully the next one will be longer. And if you notice, screws up the way you format stuff.**

"Bella." Carlisle's voice echoed throughout the hollowness of my mind.

"Bella, please wake up." His voice was almost pleading- desperate. _What did I do now?_ I scoffed at myself and then it hit me.

Carlisle?

No, Carlisle was back in Forks. I was in Alaska under the grip of that filth of a man who called himself a vampire. But I could hear Carlisle talking to me...

I slowly opened my eyes to see a concerned looking blond haired vampire standing over me.

"Oh."

Tears started welling up in my eyes. Carlisle's eyes widened in surprise, "Does it hurt?" I shook my head, confused by what he meant by 'hurt'.

"I didn't expect you here. How... how did you find me?" He sighed and brushed a strand of my hair aside. "It wasn't hard. I knew you'd be in Alaska, so I asked around. It wasn't long before I came across that scumbag," Carlisle's face twisted in disgust. "I took care of him though. It was one of the few times I let any anger out towards another being."

I looked down at the ground and noticed for the first time that my leg was bandaged up. "What happened to my leg?" Carlisle took it gently in his hands and traced over the bandage line with a finger. "Mr. Scumbag decided he wanted to have a little fun since you were rendered 'useless' to him. He cut you with his nail and was licking your blood." Carlisle's eyes turned pitch black at the thought, and I shuddered.

"Carlisle, look. I'm sorry about earlier," I mumbled. "I didn't know what I was doing." Carlisle tilted my chin up to look into his eyes. "I understand, Bella. You love him."

"I love you more." He smiled slightly and dropped his hand from my chin. "I know."

He swiftly but gently pulled me up into his arms. "He's not coming back, Bella. And you're not going to be able to find him; he's not here."

"You don't know that." I started to fight with him but he shushed me with his finger.

"If you truly love him, sweetheart, then you need to let him go." I buried my head into his neck and breathed hard, trying to choke back the tears. "I don't want to let him go." Carlisle's smooth hands slid into my hair, comforting me.

"He'll always be with you. I promise." He kissed me softly on the head and started running.

We were going back home.

That night, we didn't say anything at all to each other. Carlisle kept me wrapped up in bed next to him, and let me curl into his side. Whatever problems lay ahead, Carlisle would always be there at the end of the day for me. Always.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you _


End file.
